Ghost of Shepard's Past
by The Reckless Renegade
Summary: Shepard has just come back from recruiting Mordin and Garrus. On route to the Purgatory to get "Subject Zero", he has a vison of a past love who he left to die on Virmire.


For the next three stories I will be sharing Commander Shepard's love drama aboard the Normandy, and for those curious on the time line of these stories it will be from a month after receiving Tali's message up until her recruitment mission on Haestrom. If you find anything wrong with my stories, please leave your "**Constructive"** criticism in the review section. I only hope to get better so I can bring better stories to all of you.

Ghost of Shepard's Past

"Holy shit! This last month has been just hell and to think all this was just to start building a team," says Joker in his usual sarcastic tone. "I mean it's great to see Garrus again and Mordin seems like a good time even though he is probably the only person most likely to take my title as most annoying on the ship"

"That is unlikely Jeff", EDI interrupts. "Professor Mordin Solus will be keeping to himself unlike the crew members who remain in earshot of you Jeff."

"EDI does have a point Joker," jokingly says Shepard.

Joker replies, "Oh ha ha… does anyone else have any comments they would like to make"

"Boo… You suck" says some random voice which was followed by group laughter.

"We're just messing with you Joker; you know its all in good fun," says Shepard.

Joker answers, "I know commander… well anyways I should let you get back to your duties."

Shepard heads for the elevator to take him back to his quarters, but not before telling Joker to set course for the Purgatory to retrieve Subject Zero. Joker acknowledges the command and begins the trip there. Shepard knows that this trip is going to be a long one so he goes to lie down to help pass the time. Just as he begins to close his eyes, he hears a voice. He looks around but doesn't see anyone so he lies his head back down and finally drifts off to sleep. He tosses and turns as he dreams of the day of the attack on Virmire and over and over he see's the Normandy fly off leaving Ashley behind. The repeating vision continually gets more brutal as the bomb explodes he hears the painful agony of William's screams as the flames engulfed her body. The scream awakes Shepard, he finds himself in a cold sweat, and his heart beating so fast he was sure it would stop altogether. The guilt he had been feeling about her death had been eating away at him and he still remembers the heart breaking cries from Sarah when Shepard informed her that her sister had died. He was never able to attend her funeral as the Council sent him off to the Terminus Systems not long after the fall of Sovereign.

"Maybe that's why it is hard for you to forget Skipper", said an ominous voice.

Shocked Shepard replies, "Who is that?"

"I can't imagine what it must feel like to be stricken with the guilt of my death," says the voice.

Confused at what he heard Shepard replies, "Your death? Ash is that you?"

"Yes Skipper. Remember if I asked you if you were weirded out by my faith and do you remember what you said?"

"… You never find an Atheist in a foxhole," he answered.

Ashley replies, "I know what you did was not easy and I can't say I would have been able to make the same sacrifice that you did. You put duty before personal feelings and… I just don't think I could have done it." She pauses for a moment then says, "For what is was worth, you made the right decision leaving me there. I'm finally with my father again and now I can read him Ulysses to him when I want and I can see the smile on his face when I do."

"I miss you so much Ashley, and missing your funeral only made these feelings worse because I wasn't able to be there when you needed me." Shepard chokes up and tears begin to run down his face. He continues, "I've lost many good soldiers… but… even though you tell me it was the right decision, I can't help but think that I made the wrong choice in leaving you."

Ashley sits next to him and wipes the tears of his cheek and tells him, "I am finally at peace with myself and the William's name is no longer associated with quitters or failures but as heroes. I know that sounds selfish but for the longest time I was finding a way to die an honorable death and you gave it to me." She holds Shepard's hand and gives him a kiss on the cheek. Shepard turns to her and kisses her back. "Listen Skipp…Shepard, the galaxy needs you and they need you at your best. I can only imagine that it will be difficult but I would rather see you move on with your life than constantly belittle yourself because of me."

"Your right Ash," Shepard replies.

Ashley smiles and says, "I'll be watching over you and I hope you find happiness again Commander. You deserve to be happy with the things you've done and that you're going to do." She gives him one final kiss on the cheek then disappears in the darkness of space. Shepard walks over to his window, stares out into the blackness of space, and in the distance see's the oncoming sight of stars from the approaching system. As the system gets closer, Shepard looks at the beautiful sight of the stars and tells himself that Ashley is where she belongs… in the beauty of space.


End file.
